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Motherhood

Motherhood has taught me to not seek recognition or commendation when I give my all, you just give without thinking that you’ll get something in return. It taught me what real love is, what selfless love is. This is how the Lord saves me from growing cold, from straying away from Him.

“Gusto ko nag close ta, gusto ko mag linkod ka tupad Nako”

When I was so passionate in my ministry or being recognized by being one, my heart is slowly growing cold, it is slowly growing out of love because when you get to taste praise, you wanted more, you ask for more, and it slowly getting a part of my heart that is reserved for only the Lord. He once again saved me, He saved me every time.

Years have passed by, I committed a lot of mistakes, sin, things that I should do and things that I shouldn’t do, but the Lord never left me, throughout those years, that I was struggling, that I was doing all those things that I know He won’t be proud of. He never left me. When I asked Him to be with me, to walk me down the aisle, He did. He filled my wedding with so much of His presence. He never left me, He values me the same. I am written in the palms of His hands.

Motherhood is not a setback, I sometimes cry because I’m thinking that I’m missing a lot in ministry, or I should be the one doing that, but the Lord has given me a new level of softening my heart, of humbling me, of enlightening me, of making me closer to Him, of fulfilling my purpose and that is to love Him and only Him. Not my name, not my recognition, not the pat in my back by people. But the sweetness of His voice someday pag abot Niya and He will call my name to come to Him. And finally, get to feel His embrace, to hear His voice.

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Finally <3

I started to love books seriously back when the only recreation for me is reading. I didn’t watch too much tv when I was young. Instead, I locked my room and read until the wee hours. When I decided to move out from the house and rent my own apartment, I always wanted my book nook. I got a lot of books sitting in my cabinet, and I want it displayed! So after 5 years of living alone I finally was able to build my own bookshelf! YES! It took me that long. LOL, my previous apartments were the tiniest! Anyway, my fiancee painted it white, and now it’s pretttttyyy! ❤

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Life is GOOOOD!

Life is really treating me well these days, and I think God for all the beautiful people that is in my life. My Fiancee, my friends, my family and my employers! My fiancee is doing great with his business as well, clients are coming in. These pictures were taken from High Ridge, we decided to ate here because it’s overlooking the whole city! it’s so refreshing. The food was good, the view is great and the company is amazinnnnng! 🙂 had a great time with them

It’s Been Too Long

Yes, I know I haven’t blog for awhile now and I got a lot of updating to do! Anyway, summer has been so exciting for me personally, it’s like an end of a difficult road for a season. Me together with my fiancee and friends visited Ilocos last March, right after the celebration of National Prayer Gathering in Manila. We were able to explore a lot of beautiful historical places in Vigan and Paoay, and were so entralled by the windmill and the beach in Pagudpud. It was such a great place and I was able to be very rejunevated by that trip! My friends were able to really get to know my fiancee for the first time and I’m super glad that they instantly click right away!

Some Pictures in Vigan, Pagudpu and Paoay

We were able to relax and enjoy the place a lot!! although yes the travel time sucks! You’ll have to endure long travel if you’re driving from Manila to Ilocos. However, the experience was something to linger in my memory forever!

Random Thoughts, Random Tears

I was just listening to Paul Buchanan’s Mid Air and suddenly I fell into contemplation. Most of the things I heard right now about courtship and relationship is to always show the guy motive to let him do his first move. To be honest there were so many times I tried to make a move to let the guy I like to know what I felt, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I just can’t. One of the things I told myself after the last relationship I had, is to find a guy that would court me and pursue me, not just befriend me and make me fall inlove with him. I am a lady and I really believe that I am worth pursuing for. I’ve kept myself ready for that person and I think I am worth being courted with, to be treated special, to find that guy that would show me that I am special, the person that would be marrying me and had already married me a thousand times in his dreams. I know this would be difficult but I know he’ll be out there. God is preparing him. The randomness of my thoughts amuses me.

Cello Lessons

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I’ve not blogged for a long time haha It’s been super busy lately and even my time for breathing has been scarce(lol). Anyway I am adjusting pretty well with the school and my schoolmates, I’ve made enough friends in the music department and I can say that I am liking everyone of them. Upper years has been too sweet in tutoring me in my piano lessons, they would just enter the piano room and teach me. It was such a pleasure to be with them, sometimes we would gather in the music lobby and just sing songs.

Anyway I started my cello lesson last week and it was such an excitement! I love piano and cello together so if I’ll be able to play them both then that would be an awesomeness. The thing that I love about cello is it’s melancholic and deep sound, I kind of see myself in it.

My youngest brother is now an Engineer! I went home this weekend and celebrated my other brother’s birthday and congratulated my youngest bro. I super love it. I am very happy. Thank you so much Lord!

Ciao :*

Great day

The day got awesomer as it draws to close.It started on a very good breakfast with friends, they cooked fried rice, bacon, longganisa and egg, it was good to start the morning with lively chitchat. After eating I went to school and joined the class late. Nice and I went back to my pad to eat lunch and practice for our practical test on our voice class. She accompanied and we sang the notes. We came in late on our voice class, they’ve started vocalizing but we catch up and after awhile the dreadful practical exam started. We all have one piece to sing, it was the Concone fifty lesson no. 1, well all my classmates wasn’t able to get their accompanist so they sang accapella, too many flunked on the notes, but mostly it was because they don’t have an accompanist and it was nerve-racking. I was called and by then I realized how great my Father is, I have a virtuoso pianist as my friend and Nice accompanied me, I was suppeeerrr nervous and I kept telling myself that I’ve been singing for almost 10 years as a vocalist and been singing since I was 2, but it didn’t minimize it. As I started my first note, I didn’t hit it immediately and started a little shaky but after passing 4 notes, I got my confidence back and started singing fine. IT was okay I think I miss 1 note but it was all fine. I will make sure to ace it on our midterm then. heheheh anyway I have the greatest backer in the face of the earth, He was the maker of everything that moves and doesn’t hahaha He really chose the greatest friends for me, even when on my first course up until now, I have the best friends ever! I thank God for my compound girls and Nice.

I worked, practiced piano and meditate with my tea the whole afternoon and went to IVBI for our prayer watch 9-12 midnight. Marilou went with us so we have the luxury of riding in a car and eating fries inside. The theme/prayer points will be longing and I was the one playing the guitar as it has always been if we have prayer watches. We started singing and when we got to the song “That is why” we started crying and I was really crying heavily, I felt soooo much longing for God to hug me, to just lay my head on His shoulder and be released from all the weariness of life. I cried as I was reminded that the reason why I went to school to study music is to experience more of that part of Him, to know more about the art that I am lifting up to Him, to make Him smile, I was reminded of His love and my love for Him and how much I miss Him and how much I long for that day when He comes again. It was really good and after the prayer watch Marilou shared her vision to the group. She saw Jesus embracing me, Jesus wiping Leilani’s tears and tap Jen’s back. I also saw some movement while worship and I felt His presence in all of us. I was really very happy that I am so much love by God, I am so much love. I don’t even deserved it but He embraced me anyway. I prayed that “Lord I just want to hear You say that You love me, I just want to feel Your embraced” and He did it. I am so amazed and will forever be with the One True King of kings and Lord of lord, my FRIEND and my GOD! 🙂 SOooo happy.