I started reading ‘The Reader’ tonight and I challenged myself to finish it before morning. I was very upset at dinner that I wanted to go out and just read somewhere quiet. So I got on a jeep and went to Divisoria’s McDonald and ordered chicken fritter, and thank God that I was able to find a single seat table with a view outside and read on. I was on the mid part of the book when I started to realize that the place is full-packed, I was so lost with my book that I didn’t noticed people are coming in and a waiter told me that he will now clean my table since my food was all consumed. I then felt that I should now go out since I don’t have money to buy more food and there were a lot of people waiting for a table to be vacated. So I went out and decided to just purchase an icecream on 7/11 and finish my book there, but I was no longer upset and I just want to finish the book in the comfort of my apartment’s bed. I decided to walk to 7/11 and purchase something sweet and go home. I don’t have a single idea what time is it already, since people are still strolling around Divisoria, I was happy to find a wall clock on 7/11 though and it’s still 11pm. I hurry and bought a chocolate then walk straight to the jeepney stop. No jeep anymore but a motorela was there, so I went home and I was walking towards my apartment’s compound when I felt a hint of a childish joy, an old self, just looking on an old self, I don’t know how to explain it, I just knew that I was happy to be myself again, that melancholic child I once were. I felt like I was way too happy that I forgot about that sad child I was very familiar with, it’s not like I like being sad but that feeling you get when you see an old friend, the warmth of it, the comfort of a childhood that you once were so accustomed to. That old friend doesn’t have to be the sweetest memory, but it’s a connection to your past that you know whatever happens to you in the future, it will never be taken away from you, it will always be with you wherever life may take you. People need to be alone sometimes, we need to shut the noise around us and just be with our own. That way you release the toxic thoughts, you release all the connection with the outside world, you just be curled up and get drowned with who you are and who you were.
Anyway back to the book, I am halfway through and it’s very interesting, It has some erotic scenes but I don’t read it thoroughly, I don’t like those part but I guess it’s an essential ingredient in order to present its premise. I am about to find out more about Hannah in this part 2 of the book and I’m still on with the challenge to finish it before morning so yes, bye for now!
Yes, I know I haven’t blog for awhile now and I got a lot of updating to do! Anyway, summer has been so exciting for me personally, it’s like an end of a difficult road for a season. Me together with my fiancee and friends visited Ilocos last March, right after the celebration of National Prayer Gathering in Manila. We were able to explore a lot of beautiful historical places in Vigan and Paoay, and were so entralled by the windmill and the beach in Pagudpud. It was such a great place and I was able to be very rejunevated by that trip! My friends were able to really get to know my fiancee for the first time and I’m super glad that they instantly click right away!
Some Pictures in Vigan, Pagudpu and Paoay
We were able to relax and enjoy the place a lot!! although yes the travel time sucks! You’ll have to endure long travel if you’re driving from Manila to Ilocos. However, the experience was something to linger in my memory forever!
I’ve already started my first semester in music and it was really exciting. I got my confirmation from my Papa to study and so I pursued it. So my first day of class was so new to me that I got really terrified and realize right away that it was a long time since I was exposed to people wherein I need to interact with them and introduced myself as a first year student. Many of them were thinking that I was so young and they’re awfully mistaken hahah. Anyway it was terrifying, I went to my first class and nobody wanted to talk to me and well I don’t know how to approach them as well. I saw a friend from another band there and we exchanged a little conversation but not too friendly so I still felt like I don’t know anyone. I was really lost in the sea of faces and it was so frustrating. I even felt like my heart was about to explode on my second day because I felt like nobody wants to talk to me, even my classmates in music. So I just want to cry but that would be too dramatic, right?
On my 3rd day, that would be earlier, I made some improvement because one of my classmate in my voice class talk to me and began to asked me if I love K-pop, I was embarrassed by that so I told her that “no, it’s my hair” and many of my classmates and higher years were asking that question if I am a korean or calling me K-pop! it was so embarrassing. Many more humiliating moments there, like my teacher asking me why I enrolled as a piano major when I am still a grade zero piano player, eating candy after the vocalization and again my hair! My classmate are pretty cruel as well, because they laugh when my teacher told me about the hair and called me K-pop. Or maybe they don’t really mean to hurt or taunt me but it feels like it. I felt so inferior to them, but I remind myself that I’m here because of a dream and I know I’ll make it. I am not giving up! I will pursue it until I get to be a pro! I don’t know when but I will eventually, by God’s grace. 😀
I’ve been working as an online employee for companies abroad for about 4 years now. I started to work right after graduation and it was a good one although I was going through a nasty break up that time. The job taught me a lot about how to work online and how to effectively communicate with different people outside my country. I don’t have any complaints about any of them because most of the companies I’ve work for are so professional and good to me; however, after years of working I got to the point where I wasn’t happy anymore. I know what my passion really is: Music. I wanted to play the piano, I wanted to create beautiful melodies so badly. I know what I was called to do: Singing for God and I want to do it with excellence. I don’t want to be stuck on what I already know, I wanted to explore the different dimension of this part of heaven; music is a part heaven, it connects people, it touches us, it stores memories and it gives meaning to things that seems meaningless. I am person who doesn’t take risk, I don’t have the required confidence to achieve something awesome; I always thought that I am only average and greatness are reserved only for special people. However, there’s one thing that I fought really hard just to achieved it: worship leading, I cried too many times because I wanted to sing for God, many people hate my voice but God has a way to prune us and I was tested by fire just to achieved where I am right now, not yet perfect but getting there. So in connection, I wanted to compose songs and I need to play one instrument, I know how to play the guitar but I am not that good and besides my dream instrument is piano. I dreamed that I went to a college on top of a hill and the school is run by nuns and the place was so beautiful. The second dream was I did go back to college as an english major. I didn’t paid much attention to it but I secretly desire it.
And just recently my mama messaged me asking if I wanted to go back to school and I was surprised because she told me that she’ll let me go back and she’s gonna pay for it. I was happy but I was very indecisive on what course to take up until I fell asleep thinking of declining my mom’s offer since I can’t decide and I’m not sure if I can actually carry on. I woke up and one word came to my mind immediately: MUSIC, I was really amused with myself that I haven’t thought about that. So I told my mama, she laughed at me for a moment because she thought that I won’t earn a lot with that after I graduate but I was persistent so she consented. This coming semester I will be enrolling in a college that offers music course, major in piano run by nuns! haha they have a good reputation with music and that’s great! Just by thinking about it I feel really excited, I smile often now haha My mama will buy me a piano and I am superduper excited about it. I know that along the way I will meet pressures, sadness, discouragement but I will read this post whenever I’ll feel any of those and will remind myself to keep pushing forward! This is my lifelong dream, the only thing I will be good at doing, I don’t have good fingers yet but I know that I have good ears, good emotions so I think that would be enough and also a lot of perseverance, so for now that would be sufficient, I hope! :)))
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.” – The Alchemist
I felt so blessed that I was able to visit Tagaytay last summer for a seminar. The place is wonderful, food was great and music was so heavenly. It was like a vacation for all of us because we were able to rest from all the work and enjoy the presence of God. It was a seminar for intercessors, pastors and musicians (worship leaders). Jill Shannon, Robert Misst are the speakers and the sessions are really powerful. 24/7 IHOP system are introduced by Jill and I was crying like a baby, I was only dreaming that 24/7 houses of prayer will be established in our city last year, I never thought that it will come to pass this year. The Lord’s faithfulness and goodness never ceases to amaze me.
Sunrise – We need to wake up at 5am for our morning prayer and it was so cold.
The view from the window
The whole place
Excited to visit picnic grove and get a glimpse of Taal Volcano for the first time.
It has been a super busy summer for me this year and there’s a sense of urgency in everything. We’re trying to put up 24/7 houses of prayer in our city and different churches are trained for the work. However in the midst of all this preparation, God surely gives wonderful moments to remember. I was able to fly to Manila for a 2 week training for intercession and worship, it was a wonderful and heavenly experience. A man of God which is used in the area of business sponsored everything from accommodation to almost every expenses used on the training so I felt super blessed!
Here are the pictures taken during our flight to Manila.
We ‘re all excited!
A glimpse of heaven. I was like a little child trying to capture everything.
I was upset the other day because some members of my team didn’t showed up for our practice. I am not the best person in our set but I try to be excellent in every way because what I’m doing is not for men but for God, that’s why I’m a little frustrated about the whole situation. Food eases out every negative emotions in me so I wanted to vent out everything in a bowl of rice! Well after the practice, the other worship leaders wanted to go out and drink coffee, i love that idea but the sad thing is I have this discipline that everytime I lead the worship the next day, I don’t drink coffee or anything that will dry up my throat. After a little discussion we’ve decided to eat rice instead, so we all went to Rosario Arcade. It’s a place where restaurants, cafe and bars are located.
We all agreed to eat at Gerry’s Grill, they serve Filipino dishes and grilled meat. I love Sinigang pork a lot so obviously we ordered it along with Chicken lollipops and a lot of rice. Their Sinigang pork is not that good because the pork is not too tender in my opinion but Chicken lollipop is simply the best! It was an amazing night because I was able to relax and chitchat with my friends. The pictures that you’ll see below are taken from my crappy camera, so forgive me.
Yum! Sinigang pork and chicken lollipop with rice!
My Hot Calamansi Juice since I’m not allowed to drink anything cold! boohoo 😦
I was so tired from all the church activities plus work the whole week. I thought that it’s gonna be a never ending cycle of things and to be honest I got stressed out. It was physically draining but it edifies my spirit. Yes I am tired physically, very tired actually but inside of me there is a sense of fulfillment because I know I’m doing my purpose and that’s all that matters.
After having our prayer watch this morning, I was on the back of my Pastor’s car and was reminded of the beach. While too sleepy to even converse with my friends, I blurt out ‘ I would love to visit the beach!’, anyway we’re all so tired and sleepy already so that’s quite impossible. After sleeping for a couple of hours I was then informed that we’re going to spend the whole day at the beach and it was so exhilarating. It was an unplanned get away. The Lord surely gives rest to His servants.
Boring days makes me think of swimming a lot. The life of a stay at home employee without anything to do, but stare on her computer screen for almost an hour without achieving anything, it’s too deadening to handle. Sometimes I think about cooking just to fill in the boredom but cooking requires me to go to my little dirty kitchen which by just looking at it makes me feel guilty for not cleaning or even washing my plates. On that state I was invited to visit a beautiful place in the Hills of Allegria, I wasn’t actually invited but because I’m one of the leaders in our church I was given the opportunity to work my way in. ^__^
I was very excited because from what I’ve heard, Allegria Hills has the most gorgeous swimming pool in the city and I wanted to swim so bad. I hitch a ride with my Pastor and while travelling I was singing songs too loudly just to make myself occupied in a steaming hot weather. However the moment that we were able to got out from the city the weather is much friendlier and I became sober.
Upon arrival I was in awe with the whole place. It is situated overlooking the whole city with an eternity pool in it and I drooled.
The water was so good!
Little me, trying to build relationship with these purple babies.