Archive | April 2014

Reaching for my dream

imagesI’ve been working as an online employee for companies abroad for about 4 years now. I started to work right after graduation and it was a good one although I was going through a nasty break up that time. The job taught me a lot about how to work online and how to effectively communicate with different people outside my country. I don’t have any complaints about any of them because most of the companies I’ve work for are so professional and good to me; however, after years of working I got to the point where I wasn’t happy anymore. I know what my passion really is: Music. I wanted to play the piano, I wanted to create beautiful melodies so badly. I know what I was called to do: Singing for God and I want to do it with excellence. I don’t want to be stuck on what I already know, I wanted to explore the different dimension of this part of heaven; music is a part heaven, it connects people, it touches us, it stores memories and it gives meaning to things that seems meaningless. I am person who doesn’t take risk, I don’t have the required confidence to achieve something awesome;  I always thought that I am only average and greatness are reserved only for special people. However, there’s one thing that I fought really hard just to achieved it: worship leading, I cried too many times because I wanted to sing for God, many people hate my voice but God has a way to prune us and I was tested by fire just to achieved where I am right now, not yet perfect but getting there. So in connection, I wanted to compose songs and I need to play one instrument, I know how to play the guitar but I am not that good and besides my dream instrument is piano.  I dreamed that I went to a college on top of a hill and the school is run by nuns and the place was so beautiful. The second dream was I did go back to college as an english major. I didn’t paid much attention to it but I secretly desire it.

And just recently my mama messaged me asking if I wanted to go back to school and I was surprised because she told me that she’ll let me go back and she’s gonna pay for it. I was happy but I was very indecisive on what course to take up until I fell asleep thinking of declining my mom’s offer since I can’t decide and I’m not sure if I can actually carry on. I woke up and one word came to my mind immediately: MUSIC, I was really amused with myself that I haven’t thought about that. So I told my mama, she laughed at me for a moment because she thought that I won’t earn a lot with that after I graduate but I was persistent so she consented. This coming semester I will be enrolling in a college that offers music course, major in piano run by nuns! haha they have a good reputation with music and that’s great! Just by thinking about it I feel really excited, I smile often now haha My mama will buy me a piano and I am superduper excited about it. I know that along the way I will meet pressures, sadness, discouragement but I will read this post whenever I’ll feel any of those and will remind myself to keep pushing forward! This is my lifelong dream, the only thing I will be good at doing, I don’t have good fingers yet but I know that I have good ears, good emotions so I think that would be enough and also a lot of perseverance, so for now that would be sufficient, I hope! :)))

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”  – The Alchemist